copyright © Jedo Dre 2011

…… Ahahahaha! Armour of God is one of the silliest movies I ever had to pleasure of watching. Where else will you see Chinese people in tight 70s suits with 80s hair and eyes wide open as if trying not to be Asian as well as machine gun wielding monks? Early in the movie there is a shootout scene and it is an absolutely amazing piece of work. A bunch of monks gun down a lot of people while a cheesy 80s pop song is being sang in the background and they do the killing in a choreographed manner, loosely to the beat of the song. Oh you have to see it, it is glorious. And all of that unnecessary effort is only to kidnap someone in order to make the main character do something for them that they do not want to pay for. That's the premise, people. And this goody light-headedness is how the whole story is treated.


Of course many people watch Jacky Chan for the acrobatics and yes, the fight choreography as well as various driving stunts are very good. The characters travel to a lot of different places and it is fun to travel with them. The visuals are memorable.


The things worth liking about this movie, besides the silly antics of Jacky Chan, are rather superficial and depend a lot on the viewer's taste. The main female lead, played by Lora Forner, is very pretty, possibly the prettiest actress I have seen on film except for Zeta-Jones. The car Jacky Chan drives looks cool and has gadgets. Finally, the song when the credits start rolling is pretty good, in a typical cheesy 80s kind of way (you have to get the right version of the film as there are several versions of the credits song).


All of the above things combined with the silly overacting and violence makes this a movie for kids, which is why it has taken a special place in many young men's hearts, at least in the East (Russia specifically). Think about it, the makers are almost going down a checklist: hot chick, fast car, violence, adventure, jumping around and silly acting with slapstick – all the things boys are into.


The dialogue can be really poor. Of course, there is always a possibility that it the subtitles are just bad and it works better in Cantonese, which is the language the movie is in, but I doubt it because the writing is just too shallow and the acting that accompanies it is just too silly and physical.


The acting…gosh. Jacky Chan tries, but sometimes he fails. Alan Tam, who plays a singer, and is a singer in real life, is a much better actor in this. He overacts, but it works, and it is to him that we owe the catchy though cheesy tunes in this movie.


I feel like I like this movie for all the wrong reasons, but I still like it.

Armour of God